Inspiration - February 2010

Become Your Own Observer

Last month I talked about the importance of Awareness. What it is, and what to pay attention to. This month I will be sharing one way to help you become more aware. As a coach, one of the roles I play is that of observer. As an observer, I listen for words, phrases, changes in your energy level and tone of voice that could be of value to you in learning more about yourself and I share it with you. You can also learn to be your own observer.

When you begin to observe yourself, you separate from your habitual patterns.

Habitual patterns are our unconscious ways of being that we repeat whether they serve us well or not. These patterns show up as our actions and reactions to circumstances. When we can see the pattern, we can change it. Most often, all we need to change is one small action or reaction to change the whole pattern.

As an observer, you are emotionally neutral.

You actually imagine yourself watching your actions as if you are separate from yourself, as if watching it on video. You become as a 3rd party witnessing what you are doing, how you are being… It is awareness without judgment – more a sense of “hmm” that is interesting that I do…., think…. feel….

For example, when asked to handle a task, we may observe a pattern of becoming overwhelmed, defensive and negative at first. We then take care of the task and realize it was actually easy. Now that we see the pattern, we can choose different reactions; perhaps breathing deeply instead of getting overwhelmed or a delay in judgment when first asked to complete a task.

You can be the “observer” after an event has occurred or while it is occurring. The latter takes greater practice but the former can work just as well.

What to look for in your observations:

• Watch how you act and interact in different circumstances – especially those that flow effortlessly and those that are more challenging.
• What is your body language “saying”?
• What pushes your buttons?
• What flows effortlessly?
• How does the tone of your voice change in certain instances, with different people?
• Are you defensive in certain circumstances? What do you do? In which circumstances?
• When are you most unsure of yourself, second guessing your choices?
• When and where do you excel, shine or achieve?
• What do you resist?
• When do you play it safe?
• When do you take more risks?
• Change one thing and observe what happens, what is different?

Being your own observer will take a bit of practice since most often we act, say and think in a more unconscious way. This “observation” is you being more conscious, more curious.

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