Posts Tagged ‘coaching’

Fear is a normal human reaction to change, even change we are choosing!  When clients come to coaching, they are excited about achieving or experiencing something new.    They may be dissatisfied with their career and want one that is more fulfilling, they may be eager to grow their business or enhance their growth opportunities.

Whatever the goal, when faced with taking that commitment step to really push forward, we often stop in our tracks.   Stopping is a normal reaction, how we move forward dispite the fear is what separates successfulness from stuckness.

When faced with fear, here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • What am I truly afraid of?
  • Why am I fearful of that?
  • What is it that I really want?
  • How will this path/solution/strategy I am fearful of get me what I want?
  • Am I really afraid or just resisting?
  • What one tiny step can I take to move forward?

These are questions that I am asking myself these days as I embark on growing my own career/life coaching business.  I have several enticing options to consider and not feeling the connection to any one of them yet.  There is also some fear coming up – for me, it sounds like “will this experience/product deliver what it is I am wanting?  What AM I really wanting for my business?  For my clients?

My next step?  To take some time to answer the main question first – what DO I truly want for my business and my clients?  How will each product/solution get me to that goal?

Feel like fear is stopping you from going for what you want?  What will be YOUR first/next step?


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Thought I would share some of what was discussed in my Inspired to Action: Making Commitments and Building Momentum seminar.

Do you have a vision for your career and life?
Your vision is the big picture of what you want for your life.  It sets the framework and foundation for the creation of your goals.  You vision can be a word, a statement, a narrative or a vision board.   Choose a method that resonates for you.
Not sure what your vision is?
One strategy to gaining some clarity of your vision is to begin with your goals.  What are they?  Why are they important to you?  What is the bigger picture of what you are wanting to achieve with this goal?
What goals are aligned with your vision?
Your specific, tangible goals are what make your vision a reality.  Ideally your goals will be things you truly want to accomplish rather then feel you “should” accomplish.

What will be your first steps?


Sometimes your first steps are easy to understand, sometimes they are not. When they are unclear, a strategy is to list all of the steps you believe you need to take action on to accomplish your goal and work backward from there.  Ask yourself what would have had to come before these tasks in order to get to these tasks.


What will be your Commitment Step?

This is the one step, one action that really gets you in motion.  Not on the fringe, but plunging in.  It’s the one step (large or small) that in your mind is your total commitment, your serious move.  

How will you maintain momentum?


One way is to create accountability with a support systemBe accountable to someone (ideally more than one person) to report your progress, someone who will support you in achieving these goals.  This could be a friend, partner, colleague, or life coach, those you feel are your motivators, people in your life you trust, who cheerlead you on.


If you would like help in creating your vision and goals and maintaining your commitment and momentum, contact me for a free consultation at 919-744-9722 or


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Last week I delivered a presentations 7 Signs You Are Ready to Stretch and Actions to Take to a group of people in career transition.

The 7 signs we focused on were:

  • You are restless – feeling an “itch” to do something more or different
  • You are seeking – feeling a need for greater purpose in what you are doing
  • You are bored – seeking greater passion in your work or life
  • You are in a rut – feeling a need to change things up
  • You are feeling a pull – feeling ready to act on an idea you have
  • You have an opportunity – one that is out of the norm for you
  • You are questioning – wondering what impact you are having
Some great conversation too place around these 7 signs.  Some thoughts and ideas the audience shared:
  • Never close a door until you look through it first – when a new idea or opportunity shows up that is out of your comfort zone, take the time to review it with open eyes and an open mind
  • Take notice of what actions you do on a daily basis that are within your comfort zone – begin to take daily small steps out of your comfort zone.  This will get you out of your rut, address your restlessness and may even spark new passion
  • Volunteer – especially in an area that is out of your comfort zone – may also boost your passion, give you greater meaning and even spark an idea to pursue

What signs are you noticing that it’s time for you to stretch?

What thoughts do you have to get you out of your comfort zone?

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Building Confidence was the topic of a seminar I delivered last week.  I thought it would be great to share some of the thoughts and comments that the audience shared during the seminar:

When I asked what Confidence sounds like they shared:

  • a strong and clear voice
  • stating ideas without second guessing yourself
  • speaking up – having a voice
When I asked what Confidence looks like they shared:
  • eye contact
  • a smile
  • standing tall and straight
When I asked what Confidence is like inside our heads/thoughts they shared:
  • focused
  • positive self talk (not the absence of negative self talk, that’s still there sometimes)
  • listening to others
Confidence is having trust and faith in yourself and others.  Confidence is having the courage to take a risk when there is a goal you are reaching for.
I left the audience with a final question:
What if you were to act AS IF you are confident in every situation?  
  • Acting ‘as if’ means you are choosing to sound confident by the words you are choosing and how you are speaking (out loud and to yourself)
  • Acting ‘as if’ means choosing to look confident by smiling and paying attention to how you carry yourself in the world
What are your thoughts on building confidence?

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Several years ago I was completing some exercises as I was embarking on career and life exploration of my own.  One of exercises asked me to write my 20 year vision.  My first reaction?  20 years?? At the time I found it easy to plan my weeks and months, even loosely knowing what I wanted to accomplish that year, but the next 20??

After a brief challenge of wrapping my head around the concept that I could plan that far ahead, I began to imagine what I wanted my life to be like 5 years from then, 10 years, 15 – and I was able to get to 20.  So I sat at the table on my deck and began to write, letting my imagination run free, thinking about my big goals and dreams – especially those that had lain dormant for a while.

It was fun, soon the ideas began to flow so much so that a giddiness took over.  Could this really happen – I asked myself?  Why not I answered.  And that marked the beginning of my life and career transformation.

Now it’s your turn.  Whether you want to focus on 1 year, 5, 10 or 20 – begin to let your imagination run free – remember the dreams of your childhood, uncover those you never dared dream and create a realm of possibility currently beyond your imagination.  Then take it to paper, letting all your thoughts form words and images.

Your vision for the future is limited only by your imagination!

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It has been quite a while since I have written a blog post.  These last few months have been a sort of “time out” for me.  I stayed focused on my clients and some other business matters, but have taken some time off to focus on my own wellness.

At first it was uncomfortable to take so much time off.  I worried about my business and my clients, wondering how I could manage everything.  But you know what, it all worked out!

I took some days off, lightened my schedule other days, and had some full days as well.  This balance allowed me to reflect, to create, to breathe and to focus on what mattered most, my health.

Did everything fall apart because I said no to some things?  No it didn’t. Were there problems in my business because I moved some appointments further forward than I prefer?  No there weren’t.

What did this experience teach me?  That it is OK to pace myself differently. That it is more than OK to take time to breathe and reflect and renew.  That  it is OK to just simplify sometimes!

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In my article titled “Your Commitment Step” I talk about taking one step.  One step, that by taking it will have a ripple effect and put you in motion toward achieving your bigger goals.  The one step must be one that is out of your comfort zone, usually just over the threshold of comfort.  It has to be uncomfortable enough, that when you take it, it feels like a commitment, like the huge weight of indecision has been lifted and you are on your path.  It should feel big to you – even if on the surface it looks small. 

For me, the one step was putting our house in NY up for sale (tell story of flight home)  Yes, that does not seem like a large commitment – after all we could have easily taken it off the market, but to me that decision to publically list our house was monumental and represented our internal firm commitment to start our lives over in a new place.  The build up to that moment was scary, often disappointing (especially when we were not finding what we wanted in some of the places we visited), and often overwhelming (when we were not sure what we really wanted).  But once that ad was placed declaring our house for sale – I was able to breathe.  Did the fear go away?  No.  But now it was accompanied by excitement, anticipation and an almost delicious uncertainty!

What will be your “one step”?

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This month’s article is on experiencing more joy in life.  I thought this was a fitting topic for summer – a time when many of us take a break from our day-to-day lives for vacation.

I did just that myself spending last week in the Outer Banks of NC.  We certainly had our share of joy – from watching the sunset on top of a dune from Jockey’s Ridge, seeing the sunrise from the beach just steps from our hotel, and browsing galleries and shops on the waterfront at Manteo. 

Sunset from Jockey's Ridge

Sunset from Jockey's Ridge

Aside from the “doing” the joy truly came from just “being”.  Yes, I brought my paints and books but found that this time, I spent more time just sitting and seeing what was in front of me.  That was true joy – fully experiencing where we were.

My intention is to have joyous moments every day, not just while on vacation.  Breaks from my regular routine where I just sit and take in where I am and what is right in front of me.

Now it’s your turn, I would love to hear what brings you joy in your life.

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In my work with clients, and my workbook, these 5 steps come up all the time.  The steps are not always linear, but they all are necessary as you reach for possibilities and tap into your potential.  Here I will share each and how it has shown up in my own growth:

1 – Gain Awareness

Awareness comes up over and over again as I move through the growth of my business.  It means paying attention to what works and what doesn’t, allowing me to make slight shifts along the way.  Awareness keeps my life in balance.

2 – Clarify Your Direction

When we made our move to NC from NY, we had to know what we were looking for to help us decide where we wanted to move.  We clarified our needs and wants; and what we wanted our new community to feel like, look like and be like.  We sure found it!

3 – Get Unstuck

Whenever I feel stuck in my business, I immediately call upon one of my mastermind partners.  They are always ready with new ideas, new strategies and new challenges.  Often I choose one idea that makes me feel slightly (or more than slightly) uncomfortable so I know I am truly growing by choosing it.

4 – Get Started

To start painting again after an almost 20 year hiatus, I attended a one day class that had me painting for several hours.  This one day got me started, and over the “someday I’ll pick it back up again” thought.

5 – Make a Commitment

This is the greater challenge I have experienced with my painting, commiting to a regular practice.  What helps me?  I converted my spare bedroom into a “studio” with space to paint and I create projects to get me painting.

Take a look at your own life and your own growth and see where/how these steps have shown up.  I would love for you to share your experiences!

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Most change happens slowly, sometimes almost imperceptibly.   Even the change we think happens overnight (like when we experience a sudden loss of a job or change in our health) did not truly happen suddenly.  There were things in motion under the surface, or under our radar that were putting that change into effect.

Slow change is something that frustrates us.  I know it frustrates me personally as well as some of the clients I work with.   When we make up our mind that we want something – to be different than it presently is, to learn or add something new, etc, we want it to happen NOW.   Most recently I was experiencing this frustration with getting up to speed with social media.  I felt like there was so much to learn, so much to set up, and so much to maintain that it was overwhelming.

When I realized I was the one overwhelming myself with the “need to hurry up the change” I slowed down.  I evaluated why I was getting involved with social media, how incremental steps taken consistently was not only more productive but more fun, and that there is really no finish line to rush toward.  This is a process that will continually be evolving.

When we put small action into motion, change happens.  It often first happens under the surface and in the bakground – in ways we can’t always see.   Like when we begin to exercise and eat healthier our bodies are reacting to this new nourishment before we feel or see a noticable difference.

So next time you are wishing to hurry change along, slow down.  Believe that every action you take, nomatter how small, is contributing to the change you seek.  Relax into the process and enjoy it!

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