Archive for the ‘insight’ Category

Dec
04

In this busy time of year, what if you were to pause for a few moments and rejoice in the good thingsthat you have experienced this year?

Why?
  • Stopping to recognize how far you have come is a powerful motivator to keep moving forward
  • Reflecting on what you accomplished, however large or small, gives you a sense of pride and can serve as a confidence boost
  • Reviewing what went well helps you decide what you may want to add more of, or reduce in the new year
  • Your year in review can also help you clarify your 2018 goals and focus, seeing how and where they fit into the bigger picture of, and importance in your life.

How do you conduct your year in review?

To get started, grab a journal, a notebook or your computer

You can look at your life as a whole or conduct a separate review for different areas of your life including Career, relationships, family, recreation, finances, personal development, etc  –asking the same questions of each

Here are some Questions for you to get started:

  1. What did you accomplish, achieve or experience this year?
  2. For each of these, ask the following questions
  • What was most important about each (most meaningful or most valuable)?
  • Why were they most important?
  • What worked really well in each area?
  • Why do you think that was?  (Especially think about what YOU did/brought to the experience that enabled it to work so well)
 What is most important for 2018?
  1. What do you want?  To achieve? To experience? To Do?
  2. What overall feeling/emotions would you like to bring with you into 2018 to help make it an amazing year for you?
  3. Why those feelings/emotions?  What is most important about them?
  4. In a few sentences or paragraphs, write your VISION for the year with that feeling/emotion in mind – imagining what your year could look or be like if you were to carry that feeling with you day to day

Happy Holidays!

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Sep
07

As I sit by the window looking out at the teaming rain, my thoughts have turned to the idea of “enough”.

You see, today I am thrilled that it is raining hard for we have been without Enough rain the last few weeks. So little, in fact, that we have not had to mow our lawn in almost 3 weeks! That is unheard of during summer in NC. My beautiful fig tree is suffering and plants are wilting from thirst all around me. So, with this rain, I am imagining the earth’s rejoicing and drinking it in, just as I am!

However, if it were to keep raining like this for a few days, not only would it be too much for me, but also too much for the ground, grass and plants. How much is Enough rain? That may be able to be defined in some scientific way, determining how much rain plants, grass and trees need to be healthy and grow before drowning. When it comes to our own lives, however, we often struggle to define Enough.

How much is Enough money?

How much is Enough down time?

How much is Enough work?

How much is good Enough?

What happens when we can’t answer these questions?

When we are not able to define Enough, we often lose sight of how much we DO have and instead focus our attention on what we have NOT done yet, how much we are MISSING, or how far away we BELIEVE we are toward our goals.

Enough is a measure. It can be a measure of progress, of effort, of the outcomes we have achieved. We can then strive to do, be or have more than enough AND because we know how much Enough is, we can also allow ourselves to bask in the bounty we have for a minute, a month or a lifetime.

What would it feel like to you if you knew you

Had enough?

Were enough?

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Aug
02

Have you ever had those moments when you were just not sure of your next step on your life or career path?  When I have those moments (which are quite often), I use Inspired Action.

Inspired Action, to me, is when you allow inspiration to show you the way toward your next choice or goal.  There is no trying or forcing an idea to come to you.  There is not even any research or digging to find an answer.  There is only inspiration.

Inspiration from what you are already reading (in books, magazines and on the web), what you are already watching (videos, Netflix), what you are already talking about (with colleagues, family and friends).

Inspired action can come from your internal sense of “readiness” for something new, some next step on your journey.  You may have heard the term “when the student is ready the teacher will appear”

Here is an example of how I personally have used inspired action.

Several years ago I was on a break from my volunteer board work having just come off a board role of 5 years with a women’s business group.  When I began to have the “itch” to join another board, I had no idea which one.  I did some research, attended some things but nothing felt right.

I chose to stop “trying” to find the next thing and just waited for inspiration to hit.  One day I received an email from a coaching colleague I had not seen in a while inviting me to the next event the group she belonged to was having, just to catch up with her.  When I arrived (it was the Coach Federation Raleigh chapter Cutting Edge Conversation event), I felt immediately “at home” with these people in the room and energized by the conversation we were having.

At the end of the meeting, the colleague that had invited me announced to the group that they were seeking volunteers to join their board.  I knew this was no coincidence and took the inspired action to make this new commitment.  What is interesting about this is that I had attended events from this group in the past, but never felt the desire to join the group, this time was different.

How to take Inspired Action

  • Let go of trying to find answers
  • Live your life, doing things you already enjoy
  • Notice when something catches your attention, sparks your interest or gets you thinking.
  • Pay attention to ease – often inspired action feels easy, sort of like a “no brainer”
  • Take Action.  Once inspiration hits, take a small step forward (or a giant leap).  Depending on what has inspired you, your step may be to have that conversation, research that career OR it could be a full commitment (like my joining the ICF board)

What if inspiration not coming?  You can give it a nudge by

  • Having more conversations.  Invite a friend over you have not seen in a while, throw a party, or attend an event you have been meaning to
  • Start researching something you have had your eye on and see where it leads you
  • Read something out of the ordinary for you.  Could be a book someone recommended, a different magazine at your dentist office, or a blog someone recommended
  • Overall – get out of your comfort zone.  Doing, being and experiencing something slightly (or greatly) different than your norm.

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Dec
14
Your 2016 Year in Review

Before rushing into the new year, what if you celebrated what you have completed, achieved and learned this year?

Why?

Stopping to recognize how far you have come is a powerful motivator to keep moving forward.

  • Reflecting on what you accomplished, however large or small, gives you a sense of pride and can serve as a confidence boost.
  • Reviewing what went well (and what didn’t) helps you decide what you may want to add more of, or reduce in the new year.
  • Your year in review can also help you clarify your 2017 goals and focus, seeing how and where they fit into the bigger picture of your life.
How do you conduct your year in review?

To get started, grab a journal, a notebook or your computer.  You can look at your life as a whole or conduct a separate review for different areas of your life including:

Career, relationships, family, recreation, finances, personal development, etc  –asking the same questions of each

Here are some Questions for you to get started:
1 – What did you accomplish, achieve or experience this year?
2 – Why did these things matter so much to you?
3 – What did you learn from this?
4 – What worked really well?  What didn’t?
5 – What would you like to do/be now because of this?
As you capture your answers to these questions, additional questions will come up.  Continue this process until you have a snapshot of 2016 as well as a foundation for what you would like to achieve in 2017.

If you find that it’s hard to remember all that you accomplished this year, begin your new year by doing your own month in review, and by the end of next year, your year in review will be almost complete!

Wishing you a 2017 filled with clarity, confidence and courage for all you want to be and do.

Oct
19

 

To me, Absolute YES is when you jump in, choose something, make a commitment with no doubt or hesitation.

This could be about a purchase you are making (as small as a new outfit or as large as a new house) to a decision you are making (as small as what you are having for lunch or as large as a new job).

How do you know something is an absolute yes?

Sometimes it is a gut feeling

You “just know” it is right from somewhere deep within

Sometimes it “checks all the boxes”

It fits the criteria you had in mind

How can you use this when making a big career choice/deciding on a new job?

Ask yourself

“what would make me say Absolutely YES to this?”

When you answer that question, it may sound something like

“I would say absolutely YES if….

  • I could have…..
  • I could do……..
  • I would be……….
  • It felt like………….

When you create this narrative/list in answering this question, it shows you, with clarity, what you truly want.

It goes beyond what is on the surface (If I was paid X or if there is flexibility) to deeper criteria that really matters. Remember, we are not talking about what would just be nice, or good – we are talking about what would make you say Absolutely YES, with no doubt, no guilt, no remorse.

Can there be fear present with an Absolute Yes?   In my option, yes, there can be.

How is that so?

Fear does not always stop.

How often does fear act as a driver for you? It may feel like excitement – “wow, I can’t believe I’m doing this but I am” or “this seems crazy but right at the same time”

Absolute Yes’s are not always logical

They do not always look perfect on paper, yet there is something there that allows your full body and mind to go for it – and that can seem scary at times.

What have been your Absolute Yes’s in your life and career?

Sep
15
The spirit of the upcoming Coach Federation conference got me thinking about the conscious conversations we have…with ourselves.

To me, a conscious conversation is one where you sit down, with no distractions, and ask yourself some important questions that make you pause, focus and think deeply.

These questions bring up what you want your conscious mind to be curious about, unravel or understand.  These questions also tap into a deeper part of you – your intuitive mind, the part that is vulnerable.

Some examples of questions you can ask yourself

  • where am I holding back?
  • what am I ignoring?
  • what am I holding onto that no longer serves me?
  • how do I want to grow or expand?
How to have this conscious conversation with yourself
  • answer your questions truthfully and vulnerably
  • you can do this in your head, out loud or in writing
A client of mine had this type of conversation with himself and realized that a career path he was considering was on his list for the wrong reasons (for him).  His reasons were that he “could” do it (easier transition) and he “should” do it (more money).  When he realized this, he chose to let it go, to remove this option.  When he did that, it felt as if a big weight was lifted.  That allowed him to shift his focus to the career paths he felt were more aligned with what he truly wants in his life right now.
Notice what shifts for you when you have these types of conversations with yourself.

Are you having new insights, greater clarity, some relief?

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Jan
04

It’s that time of year again, time to choose your “one word” for 2016.

Your “one word” becomes your intention (what you will do), it gives you a lens to look at life through, and make choices around.  Having “one word” to remember keeps it simple and easy.  You can then create your new years goals around your word.

My “one word” for 2016?

Create

Why “Create”?  It fits everything that I have been inspired by these last few weeks and how I want my 2016 to be in all areas of my life.

  • Health – I will CREATE awareness in how the foods I eat impact the way I feel emotionally and physically
  • Business – I will CREATE my new Career Change eCourse
  • Personal – I will CREATE art pieces, mandalas in my journaling
  • Family – my husband and I will CREATE new experiences in our play and travel

For You

  • Choose a word that evokes something positive in you, a feeling you are craving.
  • Your word will feel good (no “shoulds” please) and be one that is a good fit for where you are in your life right now and where you would like to be.

Need some examples?

Peace

Fun

Experimentation

Playful, Play

Nurturing

Giving

Steady

Bold

Live

Would love for you to share your “one word” with me!

Happy New Year!

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Dec
07

Reflection and Renewal

It is the joy of the holiday season, a wonderful time for reflection as the year comes to a close and renewal as the new year dawns.

Why reflect in order to renew?

How often do you rush to your next to do list item, and also into the new year without ever acknowledging what you have completed, achieved and learned?  Stopping to recognize how far you have come is a powerful motivator to keep moving forward.  Reflecting on what you accomplished, however large or small, and how you accomplished it, gives you a sense of pride and can serve as a confidence boost. Reviewing what went well helps you decide what you may want to add more of, or reduce in the new year.

How do you conduct your year in review?

To get started, grab a journal, a notebook or your computer.  You can look at your life as a whole or conduct a separate review for different areas of your life including:

Career, relationships, family, recreation, finances, personal development, etc  –asking the same questions of each.

Here are some Questions for you to get started:

  • What did you accomplish this year?
  • What are you most proud of having achieved?
  • What were some of your peak experiences?
  • Why did these things matter so much to you?
  • What worked really well?
  • Which of your strengths, skills, mindset & insight helped you accomplish all of this?
  • What did you learn most this year – about yourself and in each area of your life?
  • How have you grown this year?
  • What would you like more of in the new year?
  • What would truly give you “life” in 2016?
  • What additional skills or support will you need to accomplish what you want in 2016?
As you capture your answers to these questions, additional questions will come up.  Continue this process until you have a snapshot of this year as well as a foundation for what you would like to achieve next year.

If you find that it’s hard to remember all that you accomplished this year, begin your new year by doing your own month in review, and by the end of next year, your year in review will be much easier.

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Nov
03

This time of year the focus is on giving thanks for who you are, who is in your life, what you have, and more.  When we do that it serves a reminder of the good in our life, which usually lifts us up.

So, why only do this once a year?  What if we did this every day?

Here are several ideas to choose from to celebrate your life daily!

Celebrate as if it is your birthday

On my sister in laws birthday this year, I called to sing her happy birthday and she shared that it such a nice feeling having so many friends and family tell her to have a great day.  That got her thinking – what would it be like if we treated every day like our birthday?  When we have one day a year that we celebrate ourselves that is a lot of pressure to have it be “great”!  I’ve experienced that many times as I often am on vacation during my summer birthday.   For the last two years I decided to celebrate/treat the whole week as my birthday.  That made a big difference in how much I enjoyed myself.

Create a gratitude journal

You’ve heard me talk about this before, for writing out what we are grateful for adds something more than just thinking it.  To celebrate daily, write at least 3 things each day (either at the beginning of the day, or at the end of it) that you are grateful for.  See if you can get creative and choose something different each day.  Even better, be specific so you really get into the experience of it.  Notice how it changes your mood and how this practice makes your days even brighter.  When you know you are going to write about what you are grateful for, you begin to look for things to be grateful for.

Find something different to celebrate every day

If you Google “daily celebrations” you will find a list of wacky, obscure and interesting things to celebrate every day of the year.  This month includes sandwich day, book lover’s day, take a hike day and many more.  You can get creative with this by choosing how you will celebrate each “holiday” day and even create your own!  This gives you something fun and joyful to look forward to each day.

Imagine the feeling you would have every morning if you knew you were going to be celebrating something?

Dec
14

I delivered a seminar yesterday to a wonderful group of women on the topic of Building Confidence.  Here are some questions I asked the group – and their responses….

Where does confidence come from?

Faith, experience, values, beliefs, morals and your support system

What does confidence look, sound and feel like?

A presence, a strong open posture, an energetic enthusiastic tone of voice, positive words, relaxed, calm

We also talked about several ways to build confidence, these included:

  • Stretching out of your comfort zone often – in small steps
  • Trusting yourself to make choices and decisions, then accepting them
  • Celebrating your achievements, recognize what you have done (not just what’s left to do)
  • Act “as if” you already are confident – “wear” the confidence you have in some situations to the situations you need greater confidence.
  • Shift your language (and thoughts) from “I can’t” to “I CAN”!

How do you build your own confidence?

 

 

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