Archive for the ‘know who you are’ Category


Why is it important to take ownership instead of WAITING for things to change?

When you take ownership, you are in the drivers seat of your life.  There is no one better than you to determine what is right/good/best for you.

When you leave it in others hands, a few things may happen

  • You may be given opportunity you don’t want
  • You may be waiting a very long time to get what you want (if it ever comes)
  • You may be working against the very thing you want by focusing on what has not happened yet

When you take ownership, here is what could happen

  • You get more of what you want, because you determined it and are working toward it day to day
  • You go much farther in life because you are taking an active role in your life instead of a passive one
  • Your life is richer and fuller!

How do you Take Ownership?

  •  Determine what you want – not what you feel you should do/have, but what you truly want for your life – how you want to be, what you want to have and do
  • Decide what you have full control over – which of your wants can happen without anyone else having to do/be anything, without any circumstances being any different.  What can happen immediately once you put your mind to it, decide it and do it
  • Understand where you have influence – how, by changing your approach, your behavior, your interactions – you can influence those around you which can get you closer to what it is you truly want
  • Make no excuses – no blaming others or circumstances for what you don’t have
  • Set daily intentions – ways you will be, things you will do each day toward the things you want


You want to have a happier life, and you decide one of your wants is to be more connected with other people.  Where you have full control is how you interact with others (how open, friendly and social you are).  When you behave the way you want, that influences how others see you, which can change how they engage with you.  Your daily actions may include smiling at everyone you meet or asking your colleagues what they did last weekend.

How will you being taking ownership of your life?


, , , , , , , , , , , ,


Reflection and Renewal

It is the joy of the holiday season, a wonderful time for reflection as the year comes to a close and renewal as the new year dawns.

Why reflect in order to renew?

How often do you rush to your next to do list item, and also into the new year without ever acknowledging what you have completed, achieved and learned?  Stopping to recognize how far you have come is a powerful motivator to keep moving forward.  Reflecting on what you accomplished, however large or small, and how you accomplished it, gives you a sense of pride and can serve as a confidence boost. Reviewing what went well helps you decide what you may want to add more of, or reduce in the new year.

How do you conduct your year in review?

To get started, grab a journal, a notebook or your computer.  You can look at your life as a whole or conduct a separate review for different areas of your life including:

Career, relationships, family, recreation, finances, personal development, etc  –asking the same questions of each.

Here are some Questions for you to get started:

  • What did you accomplish this year?
  • What are you most proud of having achieved?
  • What were some of your peak experiences?
  • Why did these things matter so much to you?
  • What worked really well?
  • Which of your strengths, skills, mindset & insight helped you accomplish all of this?
  • What did you learn most this year – about yourself and in each area of your life?
  • How have you grown this year?
  • What would you like more of in the new year?
  • What would truly give you “life” in 2016?
  • What additional skills or support will you need to accomplish what you want in 2016?
As you capture your answers to these questions, additional questions will come up.  Continue this process until you have a snapshot of this year as well as a foundation for what you would like to achieve next year.

If you find that it’s hard to remember all that you accomplished this year, begin your new year by doing your own month in review, and by the end of next year, your year in review will be much easier.

, ,


If you missed my 5 Steps to Gaining Clarity, Confidence and Direction in Your Career and Life webinar this month, here are some of the highlights:

The five main steps I reviewed were

Self Awareness

Knowing yourself – what your needs are, what makes you who you are, how you are known to others and how you define things like happiness, success and fulfillment is your first step in gaining confidence and direction.

How do you define happiness?


Choosing which direction you want your life and career to take is often a daunting process.  To get you started, first clarity your intentions.  Intentions are what you want to be, do or have that is within your control.  An example?  To be more present, to become an integral part of my community (do), to achieve greater health (have).

What are your intentions?

Exploration and Action

Thinking and reflecting are important first steps designed to help you see what you want to explore.  The strongest type of explorating is taking action.   Step into what you think you may want to do.  How?  Try a new activity, volunteer on a project, shadow a professional in your field of interest.  The idea is to immerse yourself in the experience, to test the fit.

What will you step into and explore?

Why You Stop

At some point in this process of gaining clarity and direction we may start to doubt our progress and choices or we may feel overwhelmed.   One way to overcome these obstacles and challenges is to shift your thoughts.  First pay attention to them.  Are they filled with “yeah but” and “what if” or “I can’t”?   List the thoughts you are having about this process of transformation and change that are both negative and positive.  For the negative thoughts, see if you also have a corresponding positive thought about the same issue – that is where you can keep your focus.

What is the dominant thought that stops you in your tracks? 

Momentum and Commitment

Our goals and vision are achieved with greater ease when we are able to incrementally work toward them in a consistent way.  One way to maintain momentum is to build your support network.  Learn what support you need and seek it out.  When asking for support, be sure to be specific about what you most want/need.

What support do you most need?

There is much, much more to each of these 5 Steps, this just scratched the surface.  If you would like to go deeper…

  • Purchase my self-study workbook: The Journey From Comfort to Possibility –  This takes you through all of the 5 steps in much greater detail with information, questions and action steps to keep you moving forward.
  • Schedule a coaching consultation – if you are ready for personalized one-to-one assistance around any (or all) of these 5 steps.  Contact me at or 919-744-9722 to schedule


, , , , , , , ,


In a recent seminar of the same title, when I asked particpants what prompted them to be attracted to this topic, here is what they shared..

  • They are in dip
  • Wanting to be happier – more possibility
  • The word rejuvenate
  • No more excuses!
  • Job change with some fear
  • Wanting to better understand passion
  • Lost – feeling “should be happy” but something missing
  • Wanting different, better options for their life

Do any of these resonate for you?

In the seminar we talked about the difference between highs, contentment and dips.  We all go through cycles in our lives – from the dips in mood, energy and focus to feeling satisfied with what we have achieved, what we have and where we are t0 feeling excited, energized and driven.  All of these cycles are necessary.
  • The dips allow us time to reflect, renew and recharge – perhaps deciding where we want to go next.
  • The feeling of contentment allows us to appreciate what we have, who we are and what matters most.
  • The feeling of a high allows us to take action and forge ahead toward a new goal.

Too often, I believe we are chasing the high feeling like we are missing something “out there”.  What we wind up missing is the opportunity to take time to reflect, to be more present and to be excited about the whole journey.


, , , , ,


My great grandparents are from Italy – from the towns of Gragnano and Salerno, small towns near Naples and the Amalfi Coast.  My husbands grandparents are from Sicily, Mazara del Vallo.  That is one of the reasons we had always wanted to travel to Italy.

Though were were not able to visit the towns of our ancestry during our recent trip, it felt great knowing we were close. The port we visited in Sicily, Mesina, is on the opposite side of the island from where my husbands family is from, but our tour guide spoke of what Sicily was like in the early 1900’s (when his grandmother emmigrated) so we felt a connection to the history.

When we visited the port of Naples, our tour to the Amalfi coast took us past the town of Gragnano, where one set of my great grandparents were from.  The exciting part for me was when our tour guide spoke of the town and mentioned it was known all across italy for making the best pasta!  Though we didn’t visit, we found a bag of pasta from this area when we stopped in Amalfi.  Salerno is where the Amalfi drive ends so we were able to see a bit of that town, where the other set of great grandparents were from, on the conclusion of our coastal drive.

We hope to one day be able to visit these small towns in Italy where our ancestors walked and lived their lives.  This experience of our visiting our ancestry, not only in the places but in the foods we have grown up with, made us feel more grounded, more connected to our history and who we are.

, , ,


Great participation and conversation ensued during a recent Taking Ownership of Your Career seminar in Raleigh, NC!  Taking ownership means being strategic, proactive and committed to your  growth.  Is is not sitting idle waiting for someone to notice you or offer you more opportunity.

We talked about when and how we know we are getting too comfortable in our current careers/jobs.  Some responses included:

  • no longer challenged or inspired
  • we stop growing
  • no longer intellectually stimulated
  • it feels like a job not a career
  • we start pushing the limits, seeing how much we can get away with
I also asked the group what matters most to them in their career.  Some of their responses included words like fulfilled and challenged – so I asked them to get more specific, choosing words that better describe what really matters. Here is what some shared:
  • being engaged (in their work)
  • being creative
  • feeling accomplished
  • variety
  • service
Being more descriptive like this helps you know more clearly what you are seeking when making taking greater ownership of your current career or seeing a career transition.
We also talked about the importance of your mindset and beliefs when taking greater ownership of your career.  This includes what you believe about yourself (capabilities, potential, adaptability, etc), what you believe about the world of work (there is something I am interested in learning more about or pursuing, there are opportunities no matter what the economy, there are many people I can learn from, etc)
Taking ownership of your career requires stepping out of your comfort zone, either small steps or giant leaps.
How willing are you to step into a bit of discomfort to take your career to new heights?

, , , ,


Last night I delivered a seminar called “Get noticed, known and connected” to the Raleigh Jaycees.  This topic can take many directions, we included points from my handout and specific questions and challenges of the group. Through our lively discussion, here is some of what was shared:

  • The importance of clarifying who you are known as – or how you would like to be known.
  • Learning who to reach out to in order to further your career in your current organization, recruit new members for a professional organization, search for new career opportunities
  • Defining your image, both personal style and how you present yourself through social media
  • Where to meet people to create new connections
  • How to start a conversation with someone at a networking event
  • How to approach someone for an informational interview
I love delivering seminars on topics such as these because each time it is different based on the audience’s questions and needs!

, , ,