Archive for the ‘life coaching’ Category

Jun
07

Gratitude is a practice that helps you bring greater joy and happiness into your life even when (and especially when) you are not feeling so happy or joyful.

Gratitude is not pretending that everything is great, it’s not masking the bad with good – it IS finding what is good and great right now – no matter what else is going on. Event better is when you take it a step further and find the gratitude IN the events/circumstances that are not going well for you right now.

  • Are you not getting any responses to your job search efforts (or marketing efforts if you are a business owner)? What CAN you be grateful for about/within that situation?
  • Are you feeling uncomfortable/unhappy in your current job/career? What DO you feel grateful for in your career/job?

Be specific in your gratitude

Instead of saying “I’m grateful to be alive, have some savings, etc”, what if you said something like

  • “I’m grateful that I am focused and resourceful in my job search”
  • “I’m grateful for all the people that I’ve been talking with who have offered me information and advice”
  • I’m grateful for the opportunities I am applying for as they help me refine my search”

Instead of saying “I’m grateful to have a job”, what about something like

  • “I’m grateful that the work I do with….. brings me great satisfaction because…….”
  • “I’m grateful that my colleague _____ was so helpful with ______ yesterday”
  • I’m grateful for my contribution to ______ because it allowed me to _________”

Willing to experiment with this for 30 days?

Would love to hear from you as you share what it was like to practice gratitude

How grateful are you?

Take this Gratitude quiz to find out!

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/6

 

 

Apr
13

If you have ever done any home renovations (large or small) you probably have experienced some form of the following.  As you are reading this, imagine how the same process can apply to your life/career “construction”.

You have a feeling that something needs to change.  Maybe you are unhappy with how something flows, or the way your space makes you feel, or some things just feel old and outdated.

  1. You then begin to imagine what you want.  Sometimes that takes a while.  You may have an idea of what feeling you want to have but cannot put into words or pictures yet
  2. So you mull it over, seek inspiration from magazines, Pinterest, or other people
  3. Now you are beginning to create your visionand so are ready to take action
  4. You start with deconstruction, decluttering or discarding what you no longer like/want
  5. As you begin shopping for materials, you may find that your vision is beyond your budget or you can’t find what you want
  6. Some of you may stop here – though if step 5 has already occurred, you may feel stuck/concerned.  Others may forge ahead anyway thinking you’ll figure it out as you go
  7. Next comes the redesign, construction, changes and additions
  8. Often, what you actually create does not exactly match your vision, but if you are able to capture the overall feeling you were trying to achieve, you are “complete” (for now anyway…. )

Your process may include additional steps, or maybe you tackle each step in a different order.

And, at any point in your process you may think “what was I thinking, this is overwhelming!”

I share this with you to introduce the idea that any transition is a process.

  • It will be exciting and overwhelming
  • It will be confusing and clear
  • It will be messy before it is beautiful

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Mar
08

So many of those I work with bring up confidence at one time or another as something they want to increase or build.

What is confidence?

Confidence is a sense believing in your own judgment and decisions. Confidence is accepting who you are – your strengths as well as weaknesses. It is a feeling of positivity and empowerment. I believe we all have it within us to be incredibly confident – in fact, I’ll bet you already ARE confident in one or more areas of your life or in certain situations.

What is it about those experiences/situations or moments that brings out your confidence?

Confidence can show up on the outside (in our choices, behaviors and words we use) and on the inside (in our thoughts, beliefs, perspective, assumptions…)

Here is what others might hear: Your voice is clear and strong, you admit when you don’t know something, you ask questions to learn and share when asked to, you say thank you when complemented. Your words are positive (and not timid or self deprecating)

Here is what it may look like on the outside: you enter a room with your head held high and engage others in eye contact. You have a genuine smile on your face. You engage in conversation and connect with others.

Here is what might be going on inside: you believe in yourself and your limitless possibilities. Yes, you still have an “inner critic” judging you occasionally, but you know better and use those negative messages to fuel and challenge you instead of stopping you. You focus on your accomplishments (large or small) as evidence of what works – and you continue to build on that. You feel strong; knowing that there is nothing you can’t handle, learn or overcome.

How do you develop confidence?

Yes, it may seem that some people are born confident, but I believe that anyone can develop theirs. Here are some strategies for doing just that.

  1. Stretch out of your comfort zone as often as possible – daily if you can. This could be as simple as taking a new route to/from work or as big as trying something you have been fearful of.
  2. Know, then capitalize on your strengths – when we focus on building our strengths, it gives us a feeling of control and empowerment!
  3. Remember the moments when you are/have been confident – what were you thinking or believing about yourself?
  4. Be true to yourself and live your values – when your choices in life/career match what matters most to you, they feel “right”.
  5. Celebrate your achievements – small and large, every step of the way, instead of focusing on what you have not accomplished yet.
  6. Treat yourself as you want others to treat you – being kind to yourself shows that you value yourself. When you value who you are, confidence builds.

Feb
07
 “Life begins at the end of our comfort zone” Wayne Dyer
When I read that quote, it reminded of a moment in 2003 when my husband and I had decided we were ready to totally change our lives, leave our comfortable life in New York for another city/state (at that time still unknown).

In that moment, in my minds eye, I saw myself sitting in my favorite cozy chair in a sunny corner of my living room, curled up with my cat and a good book, gazing out the window at “life outside”.  In that moment, I accepted that to truly live this next chapter of my life, I would need to leave my comfort zone and venture out into the world, to explore, meet, talk, engage, experiment, and experience if we were to decide where our new home would be, and what our new careers would be.  But boy did I love that cozy corner!

Totally shifting my life was a huge stretch for me.  As scary as it was, it was also exhilarating and liberating!  Since then, I consistently stretch out of my comfort zone.  Sometimes very eagerly, sometimes more hesitantly, but always reminding myself of how good that stretch feels!
Think about the word STRETCH.  When you stretch your body, it does not radically change, but the subtle movement of your limbs and muscles frees up your body, allows it to move easier, feel lighter, stronger.  That is what I believe stretching does for our “whole being”.  We are still here, yet we are often wiser, more confident, stronger, more resilient after we stretch.  New life is often breathed into us.
What will stretch you?
Want inspiration?

A client mentioned a blog she has been following which inspired her to stretch.  It’s called 100 days without fear.

Those ideas too scary? (some certainly were for me).  Then choose something that is slightly out of your comfort zone.  Something you truly want to do, yet hold back or hesitate on.

Whether small steps or large leaps, stretching can feel wonderful!

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Sep
15
The spirit of the upcoming Coach Federation conference got me thinking about the conscious conversations we have…with ourselves.

To me, a conscious conversation is one where you sit down, with no distractions, and ask yourself some important questions that make you pause, focus and think deeply.

These questions bring up what you want your conscious mind to be curious about, unravel or understand.  These questions also tap into a deeper part of you – your intuitive mind, the part that is vulnerable.

Some examples of questions you can ask yourself

  • where am I holding back?
  • what am I ignoring?
  • what am I holding onto that no longer serves me?
  • how do I want to grow or expand?
How to have this conscious conversation with yourself
  • answer your questions truthfully and vulnerably
  • you can do this in your head, out loud or in writing
A client of mine had this type of conversation with himself and realized that a career path he was considering was on his list for the wrong reasons (for him).  His reasons were that he “could” do it (easier transition) and he “should” do it (more money).  When he realized this, he chose to let it go, to remove this option.  When he did that, it felt as if a big weight was lifted.  That allowed him to shift his focus to the career paths he felt were more aligned with what he truly wants in his life right now.
Notice what shifts for you when you have these types of conversations with yourself.

Are you having new insights, greater clarity, some relief?

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Jul
21

 

Lately I have been observing some interesting things happening with my own life and have heard some inspirational stories from others; all surrounding the act of re-booting Energy.

Re-booting energy could mean

  • Adding more joyful activities
  • Creating more space in your day to breathe
  • Getting more grounded

It is the “more” of something that we lose when we

  • Get too busy with life
  • Focus on too much work, not enough play
  • Go through the motions without coming up for air

Too often, we notice it’s time to re-boot when we start “acting funny”

  • Suddenly more tired than usual
  • Snapping at our loved ones (or ourselves) more often
  • Making more mistakes

When your computer is “acting funny” what do you do most often? Re-boot.

Why re-boot?

  • When you are depleted, it can make every action feel like it takes more effort
  • When overwhelmed, it can make every action feel like it is insurmountable
  • When too tired, every action/thought can feel much heavier

What is your re-boot?

Some examples of how this shows up in my life……

I realize I need to re-boot when…..

I am thinking too hard/too much about “how” to do something that seems big.  I love to “know” stuff and when I don’t know enough, it can make a project seem so daunting, that I get stuck and don’t move forward with it.

My re-boot….Take a larger view. Step away from the project for a little while; talk it through with a trusted friend/colleague to see it from different angles, and most importantly for me, find the One step I can do to start.

When I am attempting to get too much done in too little time.  I am a get-it-done person. While that serves me well on many occasions, I have a tendency to go overboard. When I do, I notice that self care takes a back seat which leads to self-created overwhelm.

My re-boot….Slowing down! I do this through journaling , being around water, listening to peaceful music and meditation – this last one is new for me, something I always wanted to do, and now am doing most days with the use of this new app called Calm.

When my surroundings do not fit the mood I want to be in. I realized my office space was no longer conducive to the energetic and uplifted mood I truly want to have each day of work. It was not bright enough or as functional as I wanted it to be.

My re-boot…Use what I have and build the rest J Painting my office desk white was the best thing I did! It brightened up my whole space in a way I did not imagine. Even on a rainy day like today, the room feels bright and cheerful. Also changed my functional space behind my desk to feel more open and inviting. See pic below

What signs help you see it’s time for a re-boot?

What do you do to re-boot?

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Nov
03

This time of year the focus is on giving thanks for who you are, who is in your life, what you have, and more.  When we do that it serves a reminder of the good in our life, which usually lifts us up.

So, why only do this once a year?  What if we did this every day?

Here are several ideas to choose from to celebrate your life daily!

Celebrate as if it is your birthday

On my sister in laws birthday this year, I called to sing her happy birthday and she shared that it such a nice feeling having so many friends and family tell her to have a great day.  That got her thinking – what would it be like if we treated every day like our birthday?  When we have one day a year that we celebrate ourselves that is a lot of pressure to have it be “great”!  I’ve experienced that many times as I often am on vacation during my summer birthday.   For the last two years I decided to celebrate/treat the whole week as my birthday.  That made a big difference in how much I enjoyed myself.

Create a gratitude journal

You’ve heard me talk about this before, for writing out what we are grateful for adds something more than just thinking it.  To celebrate daily, write at least 3 things each day (either at the beginning of the day, or at the end of it) that you are grateful for.  See if you can get creative and choose something different each day.  Even better, be specific so you really get into the experience of it.  Notice how it changes your mood and how this practice makes your days even brighter.  When you know you are going to write about what you are grateful for, you begin to look for things to be grateful for.

Find something different to celebrate every day

If you Google “daily celebrations” you will find a list of wacky, obscure and interesting things to celebrate every day of the year.  This month includes sandwich day, book lover’s day, take a hike day and many more.  You can get creative with this by choosing how you will celebrate each “holiday” day and even create your own!  This gives you something fun and joyful to look forward to each day.

Imagine the feeling you would have every morning if you knew you were going to be celebrating something?

Feb
20

This months article focuses on learning what works for you, then using it to have a life that is more effortless.

I thought I would give you some examples by sharing what works for me.

What works for me in my business is structure.  For me that means scheduling everything, planning, getting ahead in writing, having a sounding board when I am working on a new idea and writing slowly in chunks.

One ingredient in my success formula is challenge.  When a trusted friend or collegue challenges me to do something that I don’t (at first) think I can do or am a little fearful of doing, it infuses me with just the right energy and courage to try it.

Two examples of this:  A good friend and mastermind partner Meri Rafetto of Real Living Nutrition and 3Tomatoes asking me to write my first article about 5 years ago.  My first thought was “I don’t like to write and I struggle with it”.  She believed I could do it and gave me a deadline for a publication she was seeking it for.  Well,  I took her up on the challenge and wrote something.  Much to my surprise it was easier than I thought!  That started me writing an article a month, and then blogging.

Another personal example is my personal trainer at the gym challenging me to run.  My first response “I can’t run”  She gave me one of her looks that said volumes so I said, “OK, I’ll try”.  Much to my delight, not only could I run (well, jog) but I liked it!  Now I include jogging into my weekly workout schedule.

Challenge (from those that have my best interests at heart and believe in me) clearly works for me!  When I focus on what works for me, I accomplish more, build confidence and achieve greater success.

What works for you?

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Dec
14

I delivered a seminar yesterday to a wonderful group of women on the topic of Building Confidence.  Here are some questions I asked the group – and their responses….

Where does confidence come from?

Faith, experience, values, beliefs, morals and your support system

What does confidence look, sound and feel like?

A presence, a strong open posture, an energetic enthusiastic tone of voice, positive words, relaxed, calm

We also talked about several ways to build confidence, these included:

  • Stretching out of your comfort zone often – in small steps
  • Trusting yourself to make choices and decisions, then accepting them
  • Celebrating your achievements, recognize what you have done (not just what’s left to do)
  • Act “as if” you already are confident – “wear” the confidence you have in some situations to the situations you need greater confidence.
  • Shift your language (and thoughts) from “I can’t” to “I CAN”!

How do you build your own confidence?

 

 

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Nov
23

At Thanksgiving we take the time to review our lives and acknowledge all we have to be thankful for.  It feels wonderful to be thankful, to fully realize and notice all that we are and all that we have.

If it feels so wonderful, why do many of us wait until this time of year to do this?

I think we get so caught up in the details of our daily lives (our habits and to do lists) that we forget to stop and pay attention to the essence of our lives, the beauty around us, the love and support we have.  Also, I think we put so much emphasis on where we want to be in the future that we lose sight of what is here now.

How often do you express gratitude for your life, just as it is right now?

What am I thankful for?  Here is a partial list:

  • My loving husband and the way he makes me laugh
  • My family, especially my beautiful nephews and niece
  • My wonderful friends and the experiences we have together
  • My good health
  • The beauty of nature
  • My daily exercise routine and healthy food choices
  • Seeing the growth of my clients as they discover and stretch themselves
  • The home my husband and I have made for ourselves

What are you thankful for?

Now it’s your turn. Take some time this month to think about, and write out, everything you are thankful for. Whether it’s the ability to see the leaves change and fall to the sounds of your children’s laughter to the successes you have had with your career.  Then each and every day, make it a point to remember and enjoy what you have.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

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